So, I just found out tonight that I'm not going to be in my friend's wedding in May. Now, you may wonder why I would care. I'm wondering why I care. Maybe it's the way I found out that bothers me. Maybe it's the promises over the years that I'd surely be in it. Maybe it's the way she hyped up her engagement. Maybe it's because I was one of only 5 people to get an email showing her wedding dress she'd just picked out. I honestly don't know what it is, in particular, that has unnerved me, but it's definitely something. Now, let's back up 16 years when we first met in 6th grade. Yep, that's right, 6th grade. We weren't instant best friends by any means, but we naturally gravitated that way. We were almost inseparable in high school and stayed very much in touch during college (unlike any other high school friends I'd had). Both of us being only children and only 32 days apart, we were like sisters. She was even in my wedding 4 years ago (almost to the day). But, now the time has come for her to get married and I'm nowhere to be found. I have to admit that we've not been nearly as close since I got married, but we've managed to see each other a few times a year, sending emails and pictures and such back and forth. And, I've never met the guy she's marrying. But, none of this lessens my pain. I got the disturbing email today. It was a link to her wedding website. Everything was going along smoothly until I noticed the tab that said "Wedding Party." I thought, "Is this her way of letting me know that I'm in the wedding?", seeing as she hadn't said a word to me about it since the big announcement 2 weeks ago. So, I clicked on the link...scrolled down...I wasn't listed...anywhere. Nope...I even doubled checked...I'm wasn't there. Talk about upsetting! Instead of letting me know that I would be in the wedding, this was her way of slapping me in the face. That's exactly how it felt. So, why do I care? If she's going to tell me this way, why do I want to be bothered with it? Why would I want to be bothered with having to buy a dress, go to the parties, smile and look pretty, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah? Because I've known her for 16 years, that's why! Because she was in my wedding! Because she'd always promised! Just more proof for myself that I should never, ever, ever let myself get so close to someone again. I will only end up getting hurt in the end. But, why do I care?
Gloomy and rainy outside. The sky is gray. The birds aren't singing. The humidity is high. Ever just feel like crawling back into bed and hibernating until the next beautiful day? That's my day today. I woke up this morning (the last of several sleep disruptions during the night) and wanted to pull the covers back over my head one more time. From my warm and cozy bed, I could hear the rain hitting the top of the house. I knew what kind of day it would be. I knew I wouldn't have any motivation or desire to do anything except be lazy. Which, by the way, is today...Lazy Day, August 10. Imagine that. It's like it was planned that way. Who could have guessed? But, at the same time, who would ever come up with just one Lazy Day? I mean, why limit yourself? Keep going! 365 Lazy Days!! Well, ok, maybe not that many. But, more than one, people! And, who's enforcing (or not enforcing) this "day"? Why am I still at work? Why am I not curled up on the couch watching silly game show re-runs and soap operas? Why am I not in the bed asleep? Something is seriously wrong with this picture I do believe. Happy Lazy Day! It only comes around once a year! Make the most of it while it lasts!
So, ok, I'm a late bloomer on this weblog stuff. Yes, I know it's been around a while. Call me a skeptic, patient, or just plain not with it. But, I'm catching on so give me a little credit somewhere. I'm not too sure how or why this whole thing developed. Maybe it's the modern version of what I used to call "IM-ing." Maybe it's just a better way for everyone to stay in touch (which, by the way, I'm not sure who's going to stay in touch with me like this). But, maybe it's just an instant form of a releasing of the mind's thoughts. Therefore, we produce the name "Tink Thinks." My husband called me Tinkerbell years ago and the name just stuck. And, I think. I think a lot. Growing up as an only child, I tend to over analyze things sometimes and even go as far as talking to myself to think out a problem. I'm not just talking about the general talking while you're writing an email or reading a page. It's a full-blown conversation going on in my little head. I have "friends" as some like to call them. No, I'm not crazy, just thinking coversationally. With this being the start of my weblog days, there might be some silly things on here...just simply an outpouring of what's going on in my head. Tink Thinks. What better way to say it?
